Broken Strings

I slept at 3 a.m. last night and woke up at 3.30 p.m. today. Hmm, it's expected actually. 'Cause I didn't sleep at all on Thursday night. Firstly, it was because of the damn rain. It was raining so heavily and with all that thunderstorm. Ugh. Thennn, a bloody mosquito managed to infiltrate my room and spent its short lifespan feasting on me. Followed by the climax: The thunderstorm caused my neighbour's car alarm to go off and that jerk didn't bother to turn it off. SO IT WENT ON AND ON AND ON THE ENTIRE FREAKING NIGHT. It wasn't that loud to my family but for a light sleeper like me, it felt like a torture. So I spent the whole night like a cartoon character, lying in bed with my blanket pulled up to my shoulders, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. I felt fineeee in the morning actually, if anything, I had BOUNDLESS energy running through me. I was going on and on about how sleep is so unnecessary and how the world will be more productive without sleep in college. I also sang ALL of Lady Gaga's songs in the Chemistry lab, and talked about the most meaningful things in class non-stop for the wholeeeeee day.  Let's just say my classmates weren't really happy about it. LOL.

Anyway. I'm feeling rather, weird today. I feel, not exactly angry or pissed off, but I still feel like picking a fight. I was having my dinner in a restaurant earlier. And then this Indian man came to ask about drinks. He rested his hand on my Mum's chair and I glared at his hand. No, I'm not exaggerating. I really, really glared. Then I switched my glare to his face and he looked back at me and said "Apa?" I ignored him and turned my attention to my watch. *Sighs* I could almost swear he spent the entire time shooting daggers at me with his eyes after that. Maybe I had too much sleep. I feel light-headed and I can't seem to think properly. When someone asked me a question, I stared at that person with my blank expression for a few seconds before minutely nodding or shaking my head. Maybe it's the crash after the hyperactivity I had yesterday.Who knows.

P.S. If I am murdered in my sleep tonight, that Indian waiter is the first person you should suspect.

A Killer Smile

I stuffed my freezing hands into the pockets of my sweater as I walked with downcast eyes, just another teenage girl strolling on the beach. The beach is mostly empty in the evenings, as it was that day. It was then that I saw her. A little girl of about 7 years of age. She was sitting alone on the sand, hugging her knees. Wondering why she was out at this time without any supervision, I approached her. Two dark brown eyes looked straight at me, a mixture of innocence and heartbreaking pain. Her bottom lip was tremulous, as she bit down on it to stop the trembling. I sighed internally as I sat down beside her. "What's wrong? Are you lost?"  I asked. She gazed at me quietly before shaking her head. "I'm waiting for my mother," she whispered. Her eyes were slightly wet and there was a tremor in her voice as she spoke, as if she was trying not to cry. Something tugged at my heart as I watched her, a child of 7 years biting her lip so hard it bleed to stop the tears from falling. She continued with a soft voice, with unchild-like wisdom, "My mother told me never to cry. She said there are many things that will try to make me cry but I must never cry. I must always keep on smiling. Even if I'm alone. Because she said she'll always come back for me." Confusion made me tactlessly ask, "Did your mother leave you?" She smiled at me, again with a smile that was innocently child-like yet at the same time, there was pain hidden behind that sweet smile. "My Daddy was so brave. Mummy was very brave too. She fought for me even after Daddy is gone. So it wasn't her fault that she left." This time the confusion must have been apparent on my face as she whispered, "She missed Daddy too much, you see." With a faraway glance at the setting sun, she continued in a soft whisper, as though she was speaking to herself more than to me. "But Mummy said she'll be back for me. So she told me not to cry. So I promised I will never let myself cry even if I'm really sad. Because I promised." She turned to me, smiling now and put her small hands on my face. "So you shouldn't cry too. Because the pain will pass, I promise." It was only then did I realize tears were streaming down my face. She gazed towards the sunset, breaking into another heartbreaking smile. "Mummy's here." And I watched as she walked towards the sea, with the wind flowing through her long wavy locks and with a final smile at me, disappeared into nothingness. Still hearing her gentle voice in my mind, I forced the tears down my throat, and curved my lips into a smile. Because I promised. 

So you see, I'm going to smile. Even if it kills me. Even if it hurts, I'm going to die smiling. 

P.S. It's been three years already huh?